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Hoosier Musings on the Road to Emmaus

Sunday, September 05, 2004

Lessons learned

I've had to spend some time at our local clinic lately. Oh, don't worry; nothing earth-shaking, really. Just some necessary rechecks. Still, sitting in waiting rooms does give one time to think.

Caution: some of this is gender-specific. Sorry, gentlemen; I'll try to keep the gory details to a minimum.

1. Think about footwear. If all the nurse is going to let you keep on are your socks, then by all means-- wear socks.

2. Discussing intimate anatomical details becomes much easier after childbirth. There's something about having one's reproductive system the subject of constant attention for nine months, and then displayed in an enormous overhead mirror for the world to see during delivery, that pretty much punts a lot of squeamish modesty right out the window.

3. Sometimes that's not enough. There is, quite frankly, no pleasant way to discuss symptoms in the aforementioned arena.

4. People who invent medical procedures and equipment bear watching. On one hand, I am very grateful for the evaluation and diagnosis that is possible through modern examination and testing techniques. On the other hand, where do they get their ideas?

"Hey, let's try this!"

"Huh? You want to put that WHERE??"

With those kind of thought processes, I am not certain that these are folks I want around my children.


What about you? Any medical musings to share?

6 Comments:

Blogger Dawgdays said...

To share? I don't think so!

September 05, 2004 10:24 PM  

Blogger Mumcat said...

In the "you want to put that WHERE?" category..

"Uh, would you mind WARMING that thing first? "

Charts are meant to be read. Always pick doctors who can read -- or at least check the literacy of anyone working on you. They don't read the chart, they don't touch the bod.

If it hurts, complain loudly. Stoicism be damned.

It doesn't get any easier or more pleasant as one gets older, but then, not a lot of stuff in life does.

Oh, and if you're going through tests or exams, be sure to say a quick prayer for those who can't get or can't afford them. That includes a lot of people in the world.

September 06, 2004 9:30 AM  

Blogger Jimmy said...

At a teaching hospital, be prepared to tell your story—no matter how delicate—over and over again until someone confident (and competent?) enough to treat you hears it.

September 06, 2004 10:00 AM  

Blogger Reverend Ref + said...

I've sworn to die before anyone puts anything anywhere. However, probably the most ironic/wrong/who-approved-this story I have is this: While waiting to undergo my daily radiation treatment for cancer several years ago, I came across a Reader's Digest. The main story in that issue was how one woman dealt with the brain cancer and eventual death of her husband while they were in their mid-30's. Ouch. Doesn't anyone screen waiting room reading material?

September 07, 2004 12:38 PM  

Blogger The Lovely Wife said...

Been there...I not only worry about the people who create the instruments but how would you feel to be the parent? Setting: Cocktail party
What does your son/daughter do?
She/he created the vaginal speculum.
Oh! You must be so....proud?!
Or how about the guy who created the colonscopy, granted he is probably making more than you and I combined will see in a life time but do you really want to own up to making a scope that looks up peoples other-ends? I mean how do you come up with that kind of idea?

September 07, 2004 12:42 PM  

Blogger Clueless Christian said...

These guys undoubtedly did a lot of hemmoroids. It is so much easier to tie off the d%m things if you can see them so, probably after a couple of unsuccessful attempts to tie off a hemorroid using retractors (instruments to pull the edges apart) one bright soul figured that a dental mirror with a good flashlight would do the trick! Voila the rectoscope was born (showing about 3 inches of the distal colon).

Then, he or a collegue had trouble with a hemmoroid "just a little further up". So one needs a longer tube, and a brighter light, and a better mirror. Voila the proctoscope (shows about 8 inches).

Then he had a little trouble with a lesion (was it a growth or just a shadow?) just a little further up. Darn. If only the proctoscope was longer! Should he call the surgeon and have them open the patient up? If only the tube was flexible. Voila! Fiberoptics and the sigmoidoscope.

How could colonoscopy avoid being _far in the behind!_

And the moral is: "Foul ends come by slow degrees!"

(hope you feel better soon) shari

September 07, 2004 5:34 PM  

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