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Hoosier Musings on the Road to Emmaus

Monday, February 28, 2005

Grief and Compassion, Gram, and Guitars

The Real Live Preacher is on target today. "Grief and Compassion" is told in two parts, found here and here. Take the time to read them; it's worth it.

Though the loss in the story was very different indeed, it put me in mind of my grandmother. Gram was 98 when she died, almost two years ago now. Her body failed her at the end, as all do; but her mind never did. She was, until her last days, the same loving, feisty, thoughtful gift that she had been throughout my life. One of the things she fussed about near the end was that she was afraid there wouldn't be any estate to leave behind for us-- like any of us cared one iota about that. She had never had a lot of money, and most of her savings were used up in her final years, for her care and comfort-- just as they should be.

But at the end there was a small inheritance left-- not a lot, but some. It was split between the grandchildren, as both her children had died before her.

I've put my share to various uses, in the nearly two years she's been gone; and every withdrawl I've made, I found myself considering what she'd think. So far, that's worked well; it's led me to make some good choices, and not one I regret.

The account is almost gone, now; but this week, I've decided what to do with the last of it. I've been trying to learn to play the guitar, with only marginal success-- the guitar I have is old, and was stored away improperly (my own ignorance) for many years, so the neck has bowed to the point where it is difficult for me to play-- more an exercise in frustration than anything else.

So, with the help of a friend, I'm going to buy a new guitar. Nothing fancy-- the money I have won't cover fancy-- but something that I can play comfortably and enjoy, rather than fight with. Gram would chuckle, I think, at the idea of being remembered with an instrument-- she was not especially musically inclined. But she was a teacher, and this is learning; she was prayerful, and understood that for me, music is prayer.

I think Gram would approve.


Blogger Dawgdays said...

Sounds like she was a good teacher. Sounds like she had a good student.

March 03, 2005 1:58 PM  

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