Pilgrimage

I've been on edge for the last couple days. Unusually emotional-- tears smarting the back of my eyes at odd moments, that sort of thing. Not generally in my character.

Yes, the ordination is only a few days away, and that's undoubtedly been a contributing factor. And I'm beginning to be keyed up-- lots of details coming together that need to be coordinated. Beloved friends coming in to town, as well as family, and all the planning and activity that goes with liturgy and reception and overnight guests. . . it's a hectic time, and my organizational gene is in high gear. But I'm not nervous; not in a way that would trigger this raw feeling.

Today I realized what at least part of the issue was. Amid all the bustle, something-- or rather, someone-- was missing.

So I stopped for a visit. It's been a while since I did so, long enough that I had a hard time finding the place. I did a little bit of housekeeping (not much, really) and then sat for a long time, watching the squirrels chase each other through the grass... listening to the acorns fall off the old oak trees lining the walkway... feeling the breeze blow past... talking, and listening...