Of course, part of the issue is probably that, like all fields of human endeavor, football has its own jargon, and it's a language I never really learned to speak.
However, I came across some definitions today in my email. Maybe this'll help...
- Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
- Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
- Halftime - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.
- Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or do anything but sit.
- Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
- Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
- Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
- Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
- Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."
- Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.
- End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
- Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
- Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
- Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.