Things I've learned in Montana (so far)

After a month here, I'm beginning to pick up a few things...

• When someone comments on your "outfit," it likely refers to what you're driving, not what you're wearing.

• When a parishioner tells you they've just seen a cutting, don't panic. This is a riding competition-- they're on horses, and no knives are involved.

• "Up" is south and "down" is north, here. They refer to elevation, and not compass directions.

• Along the same vein, "left" and "right" are never used in giving directions. Landmarks (some more clear than others) are used instead. On the other hand, distances are often used, and are startlingly accurate. "You turn at the mafia house, and drive 8/10ths of a mile..." (yes, that's a quote)
  

• Storing last year's leftover Ash Wednesday ashes in an an open container, in the same drawer as the communion linens, is not a good idea-- especially when the drawer sticks.

• Lunch at the senior center is the best $3 you can spend. Those ladies can cook.

• Road construction is still no fun; but the folks on the crews smile and wave here.
  

• So do cops.

• Driving 40 miles each way to get to a church is a whole lot less painful when you've got open roads and ever-changing mountain views.