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Hoosier Musings on the Road to Emmaus

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Things I've learned in Montana (so far)

After a month here, I'm beginning to pick up a few things...

  • When someone comments on your "outfit," it likely refers to what you're driving, not what you're wearing.
  • When a parishioner tells you they've just seen a cutting, don't panic. This is a riding competition-- they're on horses, and no knives are involved.
  • "Up" is south and "down" is north, here. They refer to elevation, and not compass directions.
  • Along the same vein, "left" and "right" are never used in giving directions. Landmarks (some more clear than others) are used instead. On the other hand, distances are often used, and are startlingly accurate. "You turn at the mafia house, and drive 8/10ths of a mile..." (yes, that's a quote)
  • Storing last year's leftover Ash Wednesday ashes in an an open container, in the same drawer as the communion linens, is not a good idea-- especially when the drawer sticks.
  • Lunch at the senior center is the best $3 you can spend. Those ladies can cook.
  • Road construction is still no fun; but the folks on the crews smile and wave here.
  • So do cops.
  • Driving 40 miles each way to get to a church is a whole lot less painful when you've got open roads and ever-changing mountain views.


Anonymous Mark J. said...

Excellent stuff!

One thing Montana and Hawaii seem to have in common is the use of landmarks and directions. You'll rarely hear a native here tell you to go "East." They'll use some large landmark based on where you're standing at the moment. From here, Waikiki is Diamond Head (which happens to be east). Pearl Harbor is just Ewa of here. And so on.

Sounds like you'll be needing Oxy Clean. Lots of Oxy Clean.

August 17, 2006 11:53 AM  

Anonymous mary said...

the first day i was here, coming from northern indiana, i heard the phrase in a coffeeshop, "we just need some good traps, and we will catch all the cats." then the table full of soccermoms nodded.

montana is wack.

August 17, 2006 4:33 PM  

Anonymous peripateticpolarbear said...

sounds like it's going swimmingly.

August 17, 2006 6:34 PM  

Blogger Reverend Ref + said...

I love being in Montana.

August 18, 2006 10:03 PM  

Blogger Songbird said...

These are so funny! It sounds like a great place to be.

August 19, 2006 10:36 AM  

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