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Hoosier Musings on the Road to Emmaus

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Can someone explain to me...

... why is it that men in a leadership position who, after consulting relevant people and sources, make a choice, are applauded as decisive -- while women who do the same thing are called controlling and b#$%&y?

I'm just asking.

5 Comments:

Anonymous micah said...

Sadly, no. No one can explain that to you. This is because it is not rational.

January 18, 2007 2:00 PM  

Blogger Beth said...

Sure. It's called "sexism."

As to why sexism, though... I revert to Micah's answer.

January 18, 2007 2:55 PM  

Blogger Reverend Ref + said...

It's either a) Fear, or b)you silly girl, who let you out of the kitchen?

Sometimes my 13 year old daughter is spot on. Her answer of "That's just wrong" seems to fit quite nicely here.

January 18, 2007 3:23 PM  

Blogger Dawgdays said...

Double standard. Don't get me started.

I have a rant that I so need to post somewhere, but it would be impolitic to do so.

January 18, 2007 3:43 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking as a woman, I have come to realize that the matter is more complex than [just] sexism. It has to do with perception of authority. If you are perceived as having authority, then you are "decisive". If you are perceived as lacking authority than you are simply "controlling" or "pushy" or probably "rude".

It may be unfair that women (in many situations) are perceived as lacking authority where they feel they have earned this, however if one wishes to get any where, one needs to recognize this, decide whether getting the job done is worth the hassle of getting buy-in from folks who don't recognize your authority, or whether you can manage without them.

When I was a resident, it irritated me that male residents could be "decisive" with the nurses, but my orders were "pushy" etc. However I could not manage without the nurses, so I learned to get their buy in by explaining myself, and achieving consensus. Since becoming an attending, I find that they recognize my authority, and I do not need to have consensus in order to get buy in. However in other aspects of my life (notably the church) I make a point of getting buy in, because obviously I have no authority other than that which is loaned to me by my rector, and there is no reason why anybody should take me seriously, just because of that.

It may not be "fair", however it is necessary to accept that not everybody will accept one's authority simply because one is (pick one) the one who was put in charge - the smartest - the best educated - the sexiest - whatever.

If one cares about getting the job done, then one does what it takes to achieve this.

Shari

January 18, 2007 6:10 PM  

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