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Hoosier Musings on the Road to Emmaus

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Creating God in one's own image

Of all the misguided idiocy...

It seems that the grand tradition of trying to edit out the uncomfortable bits of Scripture continues. The Conservative Bible Project proposes to "eliminate liberal bias" by offering a "fully conservative translation of the Bible" which satisfies the following ten guidelines:

  • Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias.
  • Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity.
  • Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level.
  • Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle."
  • Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots;" using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census.
  • Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
  • Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning.
  • Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story (cf John 7:53-8:11).
  • Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels.
  • Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities.

  • So, what's next? Apparently Unmasking Liberal Falsehoods, like Jesus' plea (Luke 23:34) to forgive his executioners "for they know not what they do:"

    Is this a liberal corruption of the original? This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. This quotation is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible.

    I cannot even begin to tell you how many ways my heresy meter is jangling just now. The teachings of Jesus are often unpalatable; but isn't that the point? How can they do this and still claim to be Christian?


    Anonymous Deacon John said...

    Ummm. So I guess we ought not to read James?
    Deacon John

    September 30, 2009 3:02 AM  

    Blogger Unknown said...

    Did they forget to read Acts? Or will they say the eleven "gambled" in order to choose a new #12?

    September 30, 2009 5:41 AM  

    Anonymous Guy in the Desert said...

    Waaaiiittt... Isn't "editing the bible" a common conservative accusation against liberals???

    September 30, 2009 8:01 AM  

    Blogger Young fogey emeritus said...

    Perhaps in a slightly different key from yours but mine is jangling all the same. Outrageous. Of course God is not a political mascot. As I like to say I don't want to see either the MDGs or my own libertarian positions on signs in the sanctuary. People may disagree on the political means to good ends (for example alleviating suffering, such as how to manage health care) while being perfectly good Christians.

    September 30, 2009 8:51 PM  

    Blogger Crimson Rambler said...

    WHUT!!! (word verification is "doush" -- spelling is wonky but sentiment is right on)
    oh Jane Ellen. Thank you. Do you see the inward/outward daily email? Today (Tues) they've sent a quotation from Kierkegaard which is beautifully on point.

    October 06, 2009 10:27 AM  

    Blogger Crimson Rambler said...

    And today the daily email from the Rector at St. Albans Cafe takes up the question directly. He sees affinities with Marcion: "I don't like this bit so it must be wrong."

    October 07, 2009 6:22 PM  

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