Big pews, long pews...

...old pews...

...into new pews!











Isn't it amazing what a few hours, a reciprocating saw, and several pairs of willing hands can accomplish?

Renovation I

That's a theme around here this weekend, at home and at church.

Home - "Didn't you move into a new house?" you might well ask. Well, yes. . . but one with the basement left unfinished, which allowed us to move in right away and not spend weeks in a hotel, waiting for the house to be ready. It also gave us the opportunity to play with the space a bit, deciding how we wanted to use it. We put tape on the floor to mark where rooms might go-- and moved it several times before we were satisfied (I highly recommend that process, as well as the blue painters' tape that pulls up and resticks with ease).

The actual construction began a couple of weeks ago, and now we have real walls! The drywallers will finish up their work next week, and we will begin painting rooms then. We spent an inordinate amount of time wallowing in paint chips this afternoon, before selecting our preferences.

(Related note: The names they have for all the hundreds of various colors. . . it boggles the mind. Who chooses those? And how does one get that gig? With designations such as "Palm Breeze," "Aegean Mist," "Silk Sheets" and "Venetian Pearl," it's evident that those people get around.)

Renovation II

One of my congregations worships in a wee small A-frame building, constructed by parishioners in the 1960's. It is not the most beautiful of churches, but is is well-loved, and has been well-cared-for over the decades. One of the... less than optimal features of the worship space there has been the looong pews (donated from a larger church, once upon a time, I assume), which stretch very nearly the whole width of the nave (The space is 25 feet wide, and the pews are 15 feet long).

The main entrance to the building is at the back of the nave, which means that when one enters, one has a sort of steeplechase view, with a whole series of obstructions between the entry and the altar rail. It feels as though, as some of my relatives might say, y'all cain't git there from here.

Not only is this aesthetically less than pleasing, but it can make liturgy difficult, especially for weddings and funerals. Most especially funerals-- there is really no place to put a casket, so unless the deceased has been cremated, a burial mass simply has to be held elsewhere.

Tomorrow we're going to change all that. After several months of prayer, and discussion, and consideration of alternatives... we have designated tomorrow as Renovation Sunday. The congregation will be coming in work clothes, and after Eucharist-- led by my wonderful assistant, a bi-vocational priest who in his "day job" is an experienced carpenter-- we will be cutting the pews in half, to allow for a center aisle!

I will be late to arrive, because of worship and an annual meeting with another congregation; but thanks to my husband, I hope to have pictures to share at the end of the day... if we can find my camera. In any case, I know I will be blessed by sharing in the work of a community who has the gumption to take such a step, in the name of mission and ministry.

Adventures in pastoral care

It never rains but it pours, some days.

I would ask your prayers for M and her family, currently struggling with issues too numerous to mention, even were I inclined to do so; and for "Mother"-- a character more than twice my age, with a penchant for off-color jokes and a vital spirit inside her frail body.

"Good neighbors make good fences"

So, this is how we spent Saturday morning.

Remember the Derby Fire? And the fundraising we did shortly thereafter? Those funds were augmented by a grant from ERD, and eventually gave us enough for a truckload of fence posts-- about $19,000, all told.

Fence posts? Yes-- not only to mark perimeter and property, but to indicate private vs. public land, to keep livestock out of pastures that aren't ready for grazing (and won't be for years), and to minimize critters wandering into the roads. Important stuff.

That truckload will cover something less than 20 miles of perimeter for the ranchers who let us know they would like help. that's something like 17-18% of what burned-- and doesn't include interior fencing for pastures, etc. Not a lot, in the overall scheme of things; but it's a start.

Continuing Education

In the Episcopal Church clergy must complete a given number of continuing education hours each year. In my diocese, the requirement is 18 hours annually, which must be spread between theological, professional and personal arenas. Reading, and seminars, and learning, inside the "day job" and outside of it as well. The spectrum is important; it helps to keep us balanced, and is one way of discouraging spiritual and ministerial burnout.

On Wednesday I began a class which goes toward "personal" development. I will be learning to quilt! The ladies who run Cloud Nine Quilts (scroll down the list, as there is no direct link) are a hoot, and we rookies (five of us in the class) are having great fun as we measure and plan and cut and sew together. If this turns out, I'll show you a picture of the finished product in a few weeks. Even if it doesn't, it will have been worth the time. It's wonderful to be back playing with fabric again!

"That's in the Bible?"

One of the good news/bad news things about Episcopal worship is the tremendous amount of scripture that we use each week. The good news is that we actually know far more of our Bible than we think we do. Not only do we read through a Eucharistic lectionary (Old Testament, Psalm, Epistle/New Testament and Gospel) which covers a tremendous amount in its three-year cycle, but our liturgical rituals and responses are steeped in biblical reference and quotation (though sources are rarely specifically cited as such).

The bad news is that we tend to take this for granted. It is easy to overlook the fact that the lectionary does not cover the whole Bible, for example. Many folks have not realized this. Some are content with their Sunday morning dose, and do not bother to read, let alone study, any further than that.

This was brought to my attention a few months back, when one woman acceded to another parishioner's encouragement to be a lector for the first time. She nervously asked to see the lessons for the following week so she could practice. I gladly began to write down the chapter and verse citations, only to be stopped by her embarrassed admission that she also needed to borrow a Bible, because the only one she owned "is back at our winter house... I think."

Others are intimidated by the thought that they won't understand it if they read it on their own. Still others have been put off by bad experiences with "This Is What It Means and If You Don't Believe It The Right Way You're Going to Hell" hard-line interpreters.

So we are in the process of doing something about it. We are reading the Bible together-- all of it-- using the Bible in 90 Days format that some of the RevGals found so successful last year. It's a good approach. Not selective "pick-and-choose" prooftexting; instead, a page-by-page exposure to the whole canon. Not in-depth; that can come later. Not providing answers, but talking about the questions together.

We've just finished the first week. A good number of people signed up-- almost a quarter of my regular congregants, across the four churches-- and generally the participants have thus far been enjoying the challenge. A few have gotten behind, but are gamely working to catch up; others have surprised at themselves by getting caught up in the reading, and actually have read ahead. Our discussions have been both illuminating and entertaining.

Yes, there are 13 more weeks to go; but we're off to a good start. As my former bishop once told our diocesan convention, "We Anglicans have no business leaving the knowledge of scripture to the Baptists, or other such traditions. With all due respect... we saw it first."

Can someone explain to me...

... why is it that men in a leadership position who, after consulting relevant people and sources, make a choice, are applauded as decisive -- while women who do the same thing are called controlling and b#$%&y?

I'm just asking.

20/20 Hindsight

Regarding the recent unpleasantness... there's an aspect of all this that bothers me. Okay, there are a lot of aspects... I will cop to that. And I have been/will be chatting with a confessor & spiritual director about all of it. So, please don't add to the comments about how I should have done things differently; there is nothing you can say that I have not already said to myself, and in harsher terms than I would permit to be published here, because we don't talk that way on this blog.

One I'm dwelling on this evening is the assumption that I was repeating gossip.

Now of course I didn't think of it as gossip when I posted, or I would not have done so. So I'm thinking through that... trying to learn something, here. Please do not take the musings below as anything more than that-- a written record of thought process on the issue.

Hearsay is a form of gossip, certainly; and if it had been told to me as a "friend of a friend" sort of thing, I would have passed it off and never mentioned it. However, I was not relating a comment I'd heard from a third party. Instead, it was an experience of mine-- a conversation I had personally.

At the same time, if we had been talking about someone's personal life-- issues with husband, family, etc. -- that would also be firsthand. And I would not have repeated it, as I would have construed it as gossiping. So, what made me think this was different?

Was it perhaps in part, that it wasn't confidental? Because it was a conversation which involved others, in a public place? Well maybe in part. As a friend commented to me today, "If someone walks up to a group in the middle of a food court and says, 'I've been cheating on my wife,' it ain't confidential any more."

But then again, neither would I have necessarily felt the need to repeat it. And though I might well have blogged the experience (you have to admit, that a public statement of that nature would be an unusual event!), I certainly would have filed the serial numbers off the story-- changed or omitted names, locations, etc. (a common practice, and one I have used frequently).

So, there's one rub-- I could have/should have done that this time, as Shari rightly points out in a comment on another post.

At the same time.... this was not a personal situation, but a professional issue. A librarian is responsible for, among other things, helping citizens to find and obtain books and information-- material to which they are legally entitled. When I posted, I believed someone to be an injured party... and further, that it was an example of something larger: a lack of simple common sense, as well as an erosion of civil liberty. So was I intending to shed light on this, as a way of protection and/or correction?

Lovely road-paving, those intentions. . .

Raise your hand if you've ever backed the pastoral truck over a person or situation you thought you were treating with appropriate care. . . and please stand back, as I don't want to hit you with my arms waving wildly in the air.

"Where Angels Fear to Tread"

The editor of a local paper has made some prognostications for the coming year. You can find the article here, but I do not have a history of links like that lasting; so his comments are reproduced below.

• Congress will convene and in the spirit of full disclosure, will decide to do away with earmarks. They will be replaced by ear tags. Each member of Congress receiving pork will have his or her ears pierced, and an ear tag will be inserted, showing exactly how much pork he or she has been able to latch onto.

• The two Democrat front-runners for President will announce their choice of running mates. Barack Obama, in an effort to get the women's vote, will hold a press conference and announce that he has selected Anna Nichole Smith as his choice for Vice President, while Hillary Clinton will decide to balance the ticket with a high profile African-American and announce her running mate will be Mike Tyson.

• Meanwhile, on the Republican side, Rudy Giuliani will announce he is dropping out of the Presidential race after being soundly defeated in the New Hampshire primary by Britney Spears.

• Closer to home, Montana lawmakers will convene in Helena and proceed to introduce five thousand bills, including two that actually make sense.

• Members of the legislature will then begin deliberations on how to spend the reported one billion dollar state surplus. Deliberations will come to a screeching halt when it is discovered that the state does not actually have a billion dollars in cash, but instead has a billion dollars worth of leftover merchandise from the Lewis and Clark Bicentennial that didn't sell.

• Montana governor Brian Schweitzer, a big booster of wind power, will propose putting a huge windmill on top of the state capitol building in Helena. The plan will be withdrawn when it is pointed out that it is only windy at that location when the legislature is in session.

• Finally, Montanans will be shocked when the World Court upholds a claim by France that it owns the rights to the word Montana and we can't use it anymore. An obviously agitated Governor Schweitzer will announce plans to have the Montana Highway Patrol invade France. However, cooler heads will prevail, and Montana lawmakers will convene in a special session and vote to change the name of our state to West Dakota.

Meetings

That's the theme of the weekend. Yesterday was the first meeting of the year for our regional board, combined with individual vestry meetings for all four congregations. This was a new structure for the churches, but it worked well, I think-- we dealt with all the business before us, and still finished within the time frame I was aiming for. No dithering, minimal side conversations, and everyone got along well. It was lovely.

This morning was the first of four Annual Meetings: the time when vestry members and delegates to convention are elected, the annual budget is presented, and the congregation has some conversation about the "state of the parish," temporally and spiritually. This time there were some harder questions asked, at one point; but that is also as it should be, and the exchanges were both healthy and respectful, and those concerned, still carrying some resentments over an historical issue or two, felt they had their concerns addressed.

And now, another meeting-- the first of the football post-season. Bears and Seahawks, here-- and we got home in time to see some of the fourth quarter. They're going into overtime at the moment.

Sorry, Ref+; you know I love you. . . but

GO BEARS!

Anyway

I received this in my email today. You may have read it before. I have seen various versions published; this one is attributed to Mother Theresa. Regardless of the source, it is worth sharing again.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self centered.
Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight.
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you've got, and it may never be enough.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.

Moving on. . . carefully.

I have noticed something about the local attitude toward life here: it is much more relaxed than the world I came from in the Great Lakes region. People take turns easily. Shoppers wander through store aisles calmly, and apologize readily if they happen to bump into one another (heck, almost before they bump into one another). Drivers occasionally pass on two-lane highways with more reckless abandon than I am accustomed to, but they do not (with very rare exceptions) get frantic with one another, or with conditions that impede their progress.

Most of the time, this is a wonderful thing. When it comes to snow removal, however, I find that I could wish for a little more of a sense of urgency. The weather conditions are no more severe than they were back in Indiana, really; but driving in it is more of an adventure. "We'll get to it eventually" is not always the preferred approach, folks. And a little salt would not be amiss, at least on the main streets and school bus routes.

Dangerous Libraries, Part II: Apology

So... here's the scoop.

I called the library this morning, after they opened-- to talk to the librarian about (and to apologize for inadvertently triggering) what I was sure was a boatload of emails on her system, to explain where they were coming from, and to ask her if I could have a copy of the letter to post.

Turns out, after some... awkward conversation, that the story was, as my grandmother would have said, "not stitched out of whole cloth." The paper she had been holding was something else entirely. No letter, no trip to Billings necessary, no upset husband (well, there is a husband-- yes, I have seen him-- but he is not upset about the letter because there is no letter to be upset about).

Why she felt the need to spin this tale to us (there were 3 people near the circulation desk, counting me, participating in this conversation) I do not know. We have not yet been able to talk about that, though we have an appointment to do so. I will likely not share anything of that discussion. I may been-- scratch that, I certainly was, in this situation-- gullible and easily duped; but I am also a priest, and do not make a habit of revealing confidences.

I do, however, owe you who stopped by to read this blog an apology. It was not my intent to stir things up. I try to be honest, even in the opinions and musings you see here (which is all this blog is intended to be); but others were not honest with me. If I had not believed what I was told, I would not have posted it as such. I am sorry to have contributed to such a controversy.

I am also sorry-- and will by the time you read this (I hope) have spoken to the head librarian in Billings, to tell him so-- that the good reputation of some honest, hardworking "big city" librarians was brought into question by the statements of one who was rather less than that, via my repetition of her story on this blog.

Added 1/13/07: I have chosen to remove the post in question. Not because I think that solves the problem, nor do I believe that will eliminate what I am sorry to say is swiftly becoming an urban legend; but simply because that means the folks who follow a link from somewhere else will not find it here. If anything, they will hopefully find this apology instead, and realize that the tale was not true. I cannot do much about reducing perpetuation of this story, but I can do this.

Nothin' more to see here, folks. Time to move on.

For the record, folks...

Note: the following is reprinted from a comment I added to the previous post. I am putting it here in its own space, on the front page, hoping that I will be able to answer a couple of questions and stop deleting comments. Please, play nicely.

First: This is a personal blog, my cyber-home away from home. My playground, my rules-- and I have no patience with nasty commentary. I have generally allowed anonymous postings because I believe in free discussion; but I insist that it remain civil. If you are rude, or use foul language or racial or ethnic slurs, or otherwise exhibit an unacceptable lack of self-control, I have no inhibitions about deleting your post. As Fr. Jake says, "if your behavior would cause me to show you to the door in my home, I will do so here as well." If the uncharitable comments continue, I will invoke my right to filter them via comment moderation.

Second: I am a real person, an Episcopal priest serving a regional ministry in south central Montana. You may check the Diocese of Montana's website to verify this. I do not post anonymously.

Third: This is not a hearsay story, nor will you find it on Snopes or Urban Legends. Whether you choose to believe it or not, I am telling you what I myself saw and heard, and I have no interest in lying about either. I do not have a copy of the letter. I will ask the librarian about the possibility of scanning it, but whether she allows me to do so will be entirely up to her. This is a small town library, and she may not be interested in participating in this discussion.

Finally: Despite what you might assume from the titles, the books in question are not encouragers of Muslim extremists or terrorists. They are, in fact, Evangelical Christian suspense novels-- described by a friend of mine as "Tim LaHaye meets Tom Clancy." Do your homework, please, before you jump to conclusions or (literally) judge a book by its cover.

RoboBishop

RoboBishop
Originally uploaded by Jane Ellen.

I was in Bozeman for a meeting today. While I was there, I was introduced to the fellow on the right-- the product of a youth meeting last evening. Please note that he is accurately clad, even to the pectoral cross and (though you cannot see them in this photo) lappets on his mitre. I've never seen a double-barrelled crozier before; but then, this is a different sort of bishop.

Props to Jettski and her legion of mighty youth for sharing the Rt. Rev. RoboCop with some amused committee folk this afternoon.

Maybe the Kiwannis Club?

Today it was my turn to be the fussy priest.

Just a bit ago I got one of those phone calls... the sort that takes an unexpected twist.

A parishioner (a leader in one of my churches, and a Dear Soul) has had a death in her family. Naturally, we talked for a bit about the details, and how she and the others were doing-- a normal, pastoral conversation. She is saddened, but not devastated, as she was not especially close to the deceased. As we talked, I fully expected that she was leading up to asking me to officiate at a memorial service at the church.

I was half right. Her family wants to have a memorial of sorts... but they do not want me.

No, it's nothing personal. And they don't have another clergy person in mind. The thing is, they don't want any sort of clergy at all. Seems the dearly departed was not a believer of any recognizable sort. As the DS put it, "He'd read the Old Testament sometimes, but not the New-- and he wasn't Jewish, either." So there would be no religious component of any sort to what they wanted to do. Can they use the church? Not the parish hall, the nave (this is a little building, and those are the only two rooms we have. Worship upstairs, meet and eat downstairs).

I gave it some thought. . . and figured out how to say what my gut response had been:

I'm sorry, but that won't be possible.

If it were a matter of their preferring to have another priest or minister officiate, that would be one thing-- I am not unwilling to share for such an occasion, certainly. But lending worship space to a group which is intentionally avoiding any religious component to their memorial (other than the room's appearance, of course). . . I am not comfortable with the use of sacred space in that manner.

I think I was able to explain this to DS in a way that she could accept. At least, she did not seem upset.

May the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

New Years' Resolutions

In general, I am not a big believer. Mostly I've found that what I accomplish in making resolutions is that I have provided myself yet another opportunity to feel lousy and inadequate when I don't manage to live up to my expectations. Sometimes this is due to setting my sights unreasonably high (the "Super Wife/Mother/Priest" syndrome); and sometimes it's simply because I am all too human, and fall short of where I know I should be.

And yet... it can be helpful to note clearly the things I want/need to work on, and to have goals in that regard. As those who know me best will tell you, making lists makes me happy, and I enjoy an additional bit of smug satisfaction when I am able to cross items off.

So... here's a list-- only, instead of resolutions, let's call them Areas in Which I Would Like to Make Progress (it sounds less daunting that way):

Exercise: Something, anything. I am not overweight, but I am in lousy shape-- flabby, and I tire more easily than I should. And I have the cardiac family history from hell, the consequences of which I would like to stave off insofar as it is possible. I will never be the sort who lives at the gym; but I was once in the habit of walking regularly, and I enjoy hiking (and this is beautiful country in which to do so!). So I would like strap on my sneakers more regularly-- at least three times per week would be a nice start.

Music: I have been s-l-o-w-l-y teaching myself how to play the guitar. I had a few pointers from Brother Tripp early on, and have dabbled in fits and starts ever since. I have made progress-- even played In Front of People once or twice, and they did not run screaming from the room-- but I would do better with a teacher, I think. So, before the end of the month, I hope to find locally some kind and patient individual who will help with this. Besides, paying for lessons will mean that I won't put off practicing because I have Other Things To Do.

Time Management: Yes, I know-- I am already the organizational sort (friends, family, and Seabury alumni all over the country are collectively rolling their eyes; this is not a news flash). However, in the effort to get my "sea legs" in this ministry, I have been very poor about honoring intentional time off, and family time. I've been letting the various areas of my life kind of bleed into one another, and sometimes the results have not been good.

I have begun to make some changes in parish administration which will hopefully alleviate that somewhat, and I intend to continue to look for opportunities to do more delegation and reduction of administrivia. Also-- I will remember that "work" is legitimately reading and writing, as well as moving and activity; sermon writing is not to be done on days off; answering email in the morning can wait until after devotional time, and maybe even breakfast; and I'd like to go to bed early enough that I can read more than three sentences before falling asleep. These improvements won't happen every time, of course; but I'd rather this behavior be the rule, and then allow for an occasional exception.

Okay; there's a start. Any suggestions for making success more likely?

Where did I put that duct tape?

As soon as I find it, here are a couple of candidates for its application:

• Pat Robertson, and his latest proclamations.

• The American Family Association, demonstrating in their latest action alert a woeful ignorance of history, as well as flat contradiction of the U. S. Constitution.

You know, it's idiocy like this that makes Christians look bad.

Lord, have mercy.